Its been a long emotional day.

What I enjoyed about being in this play is now gone, my whole basis of my character, all of my ideas was based of this one thing, and it was taken out!! It wasn't really able to go anywhere than that one part to be seen because I didn't have a chance! They changed a bit of things about my character, and the play is Saturday! I'm so upset about this!!

I think once this play is over, I won't be going back. Why? I've been in it for three years, and what I've seen people get out of it, I'm not getting out of it what I want. From what I've gathered, almost no one is happy with their part. Which upsets me more, I don't think its worth the stress any longer if I'm not getting what I want out of it. Problem is, I'll pry hear more about it once things start up again. I'm not sure if I'll go back next time, but if I do, I better get what I came to get.

I'll find a way to enjoy my character again, I hope. I was looking forward to getting my hair done today, to try something new with it, but they didn't "have time" well the time given for the first set up with makeup and costumes wasn't enough!! I was so annoyed! I mean, I haven't been able to wash my hair because of it, and they it was all in vain!! And it was long, so very long and we kept stopping! Some people don't put enough into it, and now I don't want to put it all in, I worked hard to get where I am, and now they don't want it!!

I feel a bit better, I want to lock myself inside my house and not go back to rehearsal tomorrow. If I could I'd drop out right here and now, but the play is only days away . . . I feel neglected by the Directors. I'm pretty sure its not the case, but it sure feels it. They never have seen what I can do, they think what they give me is enough because they haven't seen what I can do. Oh if they saw some of my RP's, they'd see. ~jedipadawandaniel You've seen what I can do in RP, I sometimes get really into character, so into it, its crazy! He's seen how I've gotten so into Anakin's mindset but only in text, I sometimes think what he would think to reply, and picture it all in my head. I go REALLY into it if its a good RP. If that was all on a improv stage, I'd be really into it! Actions, voice, words,  I would!!

Sorry for the ramble, I just need to let it all out again. I don't want to cake on makeup like that again, I had so much eye shadow on I felt like Lady Gaga. But from a distance it doesn't matter.

But again, I just needed to ramble, I'd be surprised if you got through this